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Full Version: Malv Survival Cook-Off TO THE DEATH
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Stabbykinz

((Date will be July 6, noon to 10 pm Central time))

A well-made sign stands firmly in the ground in front of the landing steps to the Wild and Sassy. With neat handwriting and tasteful caligraphy, it reads:

To all who may it concern, which as far as I'm concerned is all of you, I'm calling all available members to gather at the Wild and Sassy on July 6. It has come to my attention that the lot of you lack the necessary skills to survive out in the wilds of Nexus should we ever become separated or stranded. So we're having a cook-off in the more dangerous areas of Nexus.

Easy, right? Wrong.

No weapons. No cookware. Just your hands and your brain, and whatever materials your manage to find.

You will all split into two teams, captained by two deputies (Seele and Kai), who will ensure that none of you are breaking any of the rules or each other's various bones. You will relocate yourselves into the northern and southern regions of (location to be determined).

Throughout the day, you will commence four phases: preparation/assignment, gathering, cooking, and the Hunter's Feast.

Each captain will alternate and choose, one by one, which member they wish to be on their team. After arriving to the assigned destination, these captains will weed out THE WORST members for each phase and force them to work together in these phases to cook up THREE meals: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. These members are to NOT receive any ADVICE or HELP from the rest of the team. They WILL learn how to craft primitive weapons, gather and hunt, and cook the hard way, and the captain's are to ensure that this falls as such.

During the Hunter's Feast, both team's will be invited to a banquet on my property. YOU will be bringing the food your team managed or FAILED to cook CONCEALED in silver platters and pots which will be sent to both teams at the end of the cooking phase. Both teams will then settle into their chairs however they like and proceed to reveal, share, and EAT their own meals. Yes, this means that if you don't like the various raw meat diseases and stomach parasites of Nexus, you're going to have to learn how to start a fire and cook right then and there, and pray to your deity that the other team does so in kind.

The team with the most members alive and standing wins bragging rights and fifty gold to be split among the LIVING members of the team, while the dead members of the winning team will be transported first to the nearest medical station for emergency detox.

If you reject, vomit, keel over or collapse, die, herniate, STOP EATING, attempt to commit suicide, choke for more than five seconds, gag for more then five seconds, you will be considered 'DEAD'.

One catch: you are barred from bringing food or EATING EARLY until the Hunter's Feast commences in full, and YOU MAY NOT EAT OR DRINK THE MORNING BEFORE THE EVENT. So come hungry and thirsty. All deserters of this event will be found and forced to consume whatever their teammates manage to vomit up.

Anyone breaking the rules will be considered 'dead'. This will severely hurt your chances of winning, and you will NOT be included in the money prize.

And don't forget everyone...

...Have fuuuuuuun...

~Kytex Lanoah
Scout stares at the placard with her mouth hanging open for a few minutes. She tilts her head one way for five minutes and then tips it back the other way. Nope. The thing still reads the same.

"$#!T. I ain't sure if this is a battle to the death or a cook-out," she mutters under her breath, shoving her goggles further up her forehead. She swipes her nose on her sleeve and looks around, half expecting the Aurin to leap out at her in some sort of daft surprise manoeuvre. "One thing I'm sure it ain't is fuuuuuuuuuun," she mocks and rolls her eyes at the announcement.

She sucks her teeth as she shoves her hands into her pockets and strolls off, internally debating the merits of attendance and calculating the odds of getting hunted down successfully.
Brixx shrugs and eats a corner off the sign.
Coming up to the sign, Hattie kinda brings up a hand, scratching at the side of her neck. Crinkling her nose, as she reads it - noting the chunk bitten out of the corner of the sign, too - she ends up whistling lowly.

"That sounds like a lot of fun," she says to herself, perhaps a bit sarcastically. "Probably should check the antibiotic stashes before that event hits," she murmurs. With a breath out, the young woman twists back around, running a hand through her short blonde hair as she wanders off, pondering the logistics of such a thing.
As I believe the time changed, I will be unable to attend.
Jane looks at the announcement, noticing the bite mark at the end of the post. "Food and death? I'm in."
((Stabby luv, we need a PST and EST time on this as most of us aren't CST :/))
Brixx meanders back to the sign and chews off another corner, chews it a bit, the spits it down to the base.
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